It's been a long while. Almost a year. Yet looking back, there's been no significant improvements in the way I'm living life, and nothing has change much of the way the family lives. I shouldn't say there's no headway....you kids have learnt lots over the months, grown taller and talked more. There's plenty of growing up, but guess it's me that has stayed stagnant. Life can be of ups and downs, perhaps at this moment of time it heading towards south for me, thus the negativeness in my writing....
In such a negative environment, what I really need is a purpose, a purpose in life that can propel me further. Well, there's always to strive for the family, but that is of a long term purpose. What I needed now is a short term destination. So...let's start planning
My long term goal is to provide for Christine and the children, and by provision I meant long term provision. Financially, that can be achieve by having at least two properties, one for them to stay in and one to generate income. My current status is nil, but I'm working towards it. I believe the first should be realized in a couple of years time, with my target on the second before Heidi turns 12. In other aspects, I must continue to educate them in my best ability. That, to be maintained, would be the three most important values in the following sequence i.e. kind hearted, be smart and be pretty. For Heidi, the best I can give is to instill these values. For Ross and Ryan, to be a good person and be independent.
My short terms goals should be something more carefully crafted. They should be aligned to the long term goal. Financially, I should continue to invest to maximize gains, but this should include looking at ways other than just buying stocks and staying invested. I have given myself till end of 2011 for sourcing new strategies. I have also planned to purchase an apartment by Jun 2012. Of course, this would be largely dependent on the market, but will need to do some homework to ensure a good buy. I also have thoughts of setting up a special needs centre. This will have to be carefully planned. The better the plans, the larger the cost avoidance and higher the success. This, I will keep it to end Jun 2012 for the planning. In the meantime, I will also need to check out my advance diploma certificate from JCU.
So, having these short term goals listed out, I guess the new year should be more meaningful. Let's work together and hope for the best. Remember this kids, it doesn't matter if things are not moving the right direction at times. They shouldn't be in the first place, since that's what makes life wonderful. All you need to do is reconsolidate your thoughts and set your goals. Don't lose focus of what is most important in you. By doing this, you're now leaving the dark and moving towards the rainbow.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
God and the Greater Man
I hate it when someone tells me that he swears in the name of God during an argument, especially at the moment when it’s most heated. It is as like a closure of discussion, with the intention to shut whatever evidence put forth on the table, forcefully stuffed into the topic and herd everyone to a corner. It is like declaring one has God standing by his side, and all will be defying the Almighty if trust was not given to him.
What happens then if I too swear by the same Almighty God? Does that mean it’s my God against his, although it might just be the same Almighty that we’re both referring to? The worst is still not over. That someone just left, without any ends to the argument, but with only a short statement of “You have doubts in what I say!”…
So, the questions; Are we living our lives with God in our hearts or through our months? Is God in our hearts or self in his? Frankly, the answers seem so simple yet never possibly answered with just a few thoughts or words.
Therefore, Children, don’t ever swear in the name of God. Live your lives with the teachings of God in your hearts and do what is deemed right by following the guidance of the heart. God will be there with you so don’t swear in his name.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Housing in Singapore
It is not easy to live in Singapore, or at least to live good. I have to say, I'm not a low income earner, generating a stable income to support a family of 5 (including spouse and children). The family don't really spend much and we eat in most of the time. Yet, it seems that I'm not going to acquire my dream of a nice HDB apartment in an established estate unless I strike lottery.
I used to think, with proper planning for the future, and a little right investment, we will eventually purchase our dream apartment during my mid/late thirties. But housing these days are ridiculous, having to cost a minimum of half million to own a 5-Rm HDB flat. Even a small new 3-Rm apartment from HDB now cost a whopping S$300k. It can be done, but making such purchases would meant to have to reduce our family expenditure somewhere else. Less money for our weekly outings, cancel our yearly holidays and perhaps a definite eat-in in the future.
Frankly speaking, I can't imagine those with monthly income of just over S$1-2k. Yes, they would have to take the smaller flats, live outskirts and suffer the same fate of no outings, holidays and dinning in, but come to think of it, there will be other expenditures such as traveling etc and it the end, struggling to live, living to struggle.
Well. The above is just to make fuss about the housing in Singapore. In general (and frankly), it's the way of life now and the stronger survives better. Not only we now need to plan for the future, we need to ensure the plans work with better coverage of the unforeseen.
The way to go now seems to continue maximising the pot and keep a lookout for bargains. It really pays to save and invest wisely. So children, take this heed and advice. I wouldn't be able to leave much inheritance to you since there're three of you and only me to make a living for the family, so never count on me. But not to worry cos your grandpa didn't provide me much either and if I can survive and have you as my family, you should be fine too. Just live and enjoy your life to the fullest (within means), but with good planning for your future.
I used to think, with proper planning for the future, and a little right investment, we will eventually purchase our dream apartment during my mid/late thirties. But housing these days are ridiculous, having to cost a minimum of half million to own a 5-Rm HDB flat. Even a small new 3-Rm apartment from HDB now cost a whopping S$300k. It can be done, but making such purchases would meant to have to reduce our family expenditure somewhere else. Less money for our weekly outings, cancel our yearly holidays and perhaps a definite eat-in in the future.
Frankly speaking, I can't imagine those with monthly income of just over S$1-2k. Yes, they would have to take the smaller flats, live outskirts and suffer the same fate of no outings, holidays and dinning in, but come to think of it, there will be other expenditures such as traveling etc and it the end, struggling to live, living to struggle.
Well. The above is just to make fuss about the housing in Singapore. In general (and frankly), it's the way of life now and the stronger survives better. Not only we now need to plan for the future, we need to ensure the plans work with better coverage of the unforeseen.
The way to go now seems to continue maximising the pot and keep a lookout for bargains. It really pays to save and invest wisely. So children, take this heed and advice. I wouldn't be able to leave much inheritance to you since there're three of you and only me to make a living for the family, so never count on me. But not to worry cos your grandpa didn't provide me much either and if I can survive and have you as my family, you should be fine too. Just live and enjoy your life to the fullest (within means), but with good planning for your future.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Being Adults
When people talk about having children and how wonderful they can be for one's life, they always mentioned how fullfilling the children can be, bring laughter and creating memories each other new day that you'll not exchange for anything else in the world. One good benefit that I would like to add to the list, if it has not already been mentioned (or at least I know, not very often), is that children really teaches us lessons that we, being adults, don't normally (re)learn at our age.
I was once very upset with Ryan. Being an autistic child, he would sometimes (well actually, most of time) whines and scream on little things that upsets him. I was in the middle of finishing my report due for the next day and had tons of other urgent but unimportant stuffs on my mind. Tried very hard to clam him down, making him happy but nothing seems to work. He kept wanting to use the computer I was working on. In a fit of anger, I shouted at home to stay out of the study, and he cried even louder.
Heidi was beside all along playing her toys. She simply made a remark that goes something like "Why do you have to make him cry? See. He wants to play, let him play. Why did you shout at him? Ryan cry, you shout, then he cry louder and louder..."
It woke me up a little. The report wasn't so urgent that I couldn't just save my work and let Ryan use the computer for 15 minutes. It's my mindset that I shouldn't be disturbed at that instance.
I stopped working for an hour after hearing Heidi. She had opened my mind and taught me to relax a little. And of course to treat Ryan better. Played 15 minutes of computer (Youtube) with him and moved on to the other urgent but unimportant stuffs before heading back to my report. Everything else went smooth thereafter.
There. One old lesson that I'd relearn through my daughter. And maybe more from Ryan.
I was once very upset with Ryan. Being an autistic child, he would sometimes (well actually, most of time) whines and scream on little things that upsets him. I was in the middle of finishing my report due for the next day and had tons of other urgent but unimportant stuffs on my mind. Tried very hard to clam him down, making him happy but nothing seems to work. He kept wanting to use the computer I was working on. In a fit of anger, I shouted at home to stay out of the study, and he cried even louder.
Heidi was beside all along playing her toys. She simply made a remark that goes something like "Why do you have to make him cry? See. He wants to play, let him play. Why did you shout at him? Ryan cry, you shout, then he cry louder and louder..."
It woke me up a little. The report wasn't so urgent that I couldn't just save my work and let Ryan use the computer for 15 minutes. It's my mindset that I shouldn't be disturbed at that instance.
I stopped working for an hour after hearing Heidi. She had opened my mind and taught me to relax a little. And of course to treat Ryan better. Played 15 minutes of computer (Youtube) with him and moved on to the other urgent but unimportant stuffs before heading back to my report. Everything else went smooth thereafter.
There. One old lesson that I'd relearn through my daughter. And maybe more from Ryan.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Scarry Week
It's the worst week ever since we moved into Polhems. Never did we find ourselves in such situations when all of us, all five members in the family, fell sick. Really really sick. On the funny side, it's also the first time when I realised that the children could be so quiet in the middle of the day.
Ryan was the first to contract the virus. He started coughing and vomitting, lying in bed not wanting to do anything all. Ross was happy then to see Ryan laying down not retaliating his attacks. At least not the virual form. He was the next to fall. It was very sudden. One moment Ross was jumping up and down, the next moment he starting throwing up. By the forth day, all in the family were contracted.
I could still remember it was 12 noon, when all of us laid on the mattresses in the bedroom. Time passed slowly the sleep was not very peaceful for me. Had to keep a watch on the children's fever and time for medication. Anyways, the important was that I somehow enjoyed the quietness in the cool winter afternoon which I couldn't remember when the last was.
It's been a week now, and I'm back to work. The children are not fully recovered yet, but they are now more active than when it just started. It's really been a painful week, when both Christine and myself were ill at the same time. Wasn't easy at all without any assistance, and I'd really appreciate the presence of my parents when they were with me here in Sweden. Dad and Mum worried alot when I called to update, especially of the children.
Well children, see how mum and dad suffered when you'd fallen ill? Just wanted you to know that we really put in our hearts while you grow, so learn to appreciate us...
Ryan was the first to contract the virus. He started coughing and vomitting, lying in bed not wanting to do anything all. Ross was happy then to see Ryan laying down not retaliating his attacks. At least not the virual form. He was the next to fall. It was very sudden. One moment Ross was jumping up and down, the next moment he starting throwing up. By the forth day, all in the family were contracted.
I could still remember it was 12 noon, when all of us laid on the mattresses in the bedroom. Time passed slowly the sleep was not very peaceful for me. Had to keep a watch on the children's fever and time for medication. Anyways, the important was that I somehow enjoyed the quietness in the cool winter afternoon which I couldn't remember when the last was.
It's been a week now, and I'm back to work. The children are not fully recovered yet, but they are now more active than when it just started. It's really been a painful week, when both Christine and myself were ill at the same time. Wasn't easy at all without any assistance, and I'd really appreciate the presence of my parents when they were with me here in Sweden. Dad and Mum worried alot when I called to update, especially of the children.
Well children, see how mum and dad suffered when you'd fallen ill? Just wanted you to know that we really put in our hearts while you grow, so learn to appreciate us...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Politics....Office
It can be annoying, but it seems to be staying if you're working in a humanised environment. It wouldn't be worse but definitely not getting better over time. Friends can be enemies and enemies can be friends, just when or where you'll need them.
Hate these. Never thought that it can bother me at all, but they just creeped up from being over the years and before you know it, you're well in the middle of it,laying the games as it should be, so as not to be hurt. Come to think of it, the pleasure of winning in such games can be so fulfilling, but when the guilt sinks in, you start thinking whether if all's worth that much.
There's always a difference in everyone's capabilities. Some are better, some just want to skim his way through, while others are trying to struggle away in a day's job hoping he'll still be around the next day. The fact is, we're living in a world which we can escape from this. It's human nature, it's suvivial instinct, it's the way should be.
But then again, it really depends on what you want in life. I've chosen. Although at times, I do still want opportunities to strive towards higher grounds, I've chosen. My family's more important how. So long as one does his fair share of work, and be naive in what others think of oneself, it's really not as bad to ignore the politics. It doesn't matter if one really excel in the office, or climbed the highest ladder to the everyone's-dream-position. So long as I return home to a happy family, spending time on television with Christine, working with the kids' sums and listening to what they have learn over the day, that's more than what it should be in my life.
So, remember children, don't dispair in life if you find youself surviving hard in the office arena. There's always something more of a higher priority in life so loosen up a little. Stay high and away for a while to recollect your thoughts. Once you've done that, things will definitely be well better than you previously thought.
Hate these. Never thought that it can bother me at all, but they just creeped up from being over the years and before you know it, you're well in the middle of it,laying the games as it should be, so as not to be hurt. Come to think of it, the pleasure of winning in such games can be so fulfilling, but when the guilt sinks in, you start thinking whether if all's worth that much.
There's always a difference in everyone's capabilities. Some are better, some just want to skim his way through, while others are trying to struggle away in a day's job hoping he'll still be around the next day. The fact is, we're living in a world which we can escape from this. It's human nature, it's suvivial instinct, it's the way should be.
But then again, it really depends on what you want in life. I've chosen. Although at times, I do still want opportunities to strive towards higher grounds, I've chosen. My family's more important how. So long as one does his fair share of work, and be naive in what others think of oneself, it's really not as bad to ignore the politics. It doesn't matter if one really excel in the office, or climbed the highest ladder to the everyone's-dream-position. So long as I return home to a happy family, spending time on television with Christine, working with the kids' sums and listening to what they have learn over the day, that's more than what it should be in my life.
So, remember children, don't dispair in life if you find youself surviving hard in the office arena. There's always something more of a higher priority in life so loosen up a little. Stay high and away for a while to recollect your thoughts. Once you've done that, things will definitely be well better than you previously thought.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Feeling Life
It hasn't been easy, and never will be smooth sailing, being parents. With the births of the twin, I started to experience what it was really like - to feel life as it should be. Happiness, contentment, satisfaction, anxiety, heartbroken .... it goes on and on.
As with most twins, they came prematured (35 weeks) and not without minor complications. Ross and Ryan were both too small to be discharge and Ryan especially, had to be closely monitored in the incubator. There were needles of similar length as compared to his little arms and legs, sticking out from his tiny hand. As his hands were still too weak to have the needles on for days, they merried-go-round the needle among his fours to ensure he wasn't hurt too much on either one limb. It wasn't a sight one could easily bear. I tried persuading Christine to stay and tend to Ross during the 3 weeks period. She visited Ryan once, and cried. Although we knew Ryan was safe, we couldn't help but feel the ache in our hearts throughout the long 3 weeks.
That was the first experience as a parent, and I know now it'll keep coming for the rest of my life. It has always been on time really.
Ross was luckier. He was discharged shortly after gaining some weight and was happily back in the comfort of our bedroom. Perhaps that's the reason why Ross has always been the more cheerful one as compared to Ryan. Nevertheless, he too contributed his fair share of our aches, but that's something I would write another time.
I naively thought we were ready (parenthood) after we knew about the expectancy and all the preparation readings. One could never be, even if you've been a parent once, twice or trice. Everything similar is never the same, so one'll just need to learn and grow along the way, feeling life as it should be.
Dear children,
Thank you all for letting me grow with you. Without you all, my life experiences will just be lingering around when I married your mum. Perhaps I'll then alway be her only pampered one.....
Love,
Dad
As with most twins, they came prematured (35 weeks) and not without minor complications. Ross and Ryan were both too small to be discharge and Ryan especially, had to be closely monitored in the incubator. There were needles of similar length as compared to his little arms and legs, sticking out from his tiny hand. As his hands were still too weak to have the needles on for days, they merried-go-round the needle among his fours to ensure he wasn't hurt too much on either one limb. It wasn't a sight one could easily bear. I tried persuading Christine to stay and tend to Ross during the 3 weeks period. She visited Ryan once, and cried. Although we knew Ryan was safe, we couldn't help but feel the ache in our hearts throughout the long 3 weeks.
That was the first experience as a parent, and I know now it'll keep coming for the rest of my life. It has always been on time really.
Ross was luckier. He was discharged shortly after gaining some weight and was happily back in the comfort of our bedroom. Perhaps that's the reason why Ross has always been the more cheerful one as compared to Ryan. Nevertheless, he too contributed his fair share of our aches, but that's something I would write another time.
I naively thought we were ready (parenthood) after we knew about the expectancy and all the preparation readings. One could never be, even if you've been a parent once, twice or trice. Everything similar is never the same, so one'll just need to learn and grow along the way, feeling life as it should be.
Dear children,
Thank you all for letting me grow with you. Without you all, my life experiences will just be lingering around when I married your mum. Perhaps I'll then alway be her only pampered one.....
Love,
Dad
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